Friendly Persuasion

Crescent Moon by Montague Dawson


I have mentioned Gi, my friend before ... well if you have never seen the film 'Friendly Persuasion' then you should, because the key character is Gary Cooper ... a 3-time academy winner ... someone for whom less was more, and who was followed by the likes of Alan Ladd, Gregory Peck, Robert Mitchum, Charleton Heston and Clint Eastwood as your strong, silent (....but deadly if provoked) heroes. The essay below has been started stopped and restarted as I have about 3 on the go about people I admire at any one time! I capture a thought here and then, leave it and then later add to it.

Well, Gi is a scorpio, around 6ft 4" tall, with curly hair, and skin like porcelain, he is a family man with 2 tiny tots and he is a true highly ethical pure-hearted Buddhist from Shri Lanka. He is one of the most cultivated, cultured, elegant creatures I have ever laid eyes on. He like so many before considered me an enigma, because being complex, I was as I always am, on the outside periphery of the mundane looking in from seclusion's of artistry, and poetic creativity!

My gifted psychic Mother described him to me about a month before I met him ... she told me clearly that this beautiful Friend, someone who would be similar in personality, and that I would relate to because of his close similarities to my Father. She mentioned twice that he was coming into my life, she said he was soundly married with a beautiful exotic wife and two small boys, and that he was going to be like a sentinel or gentle guardian or angel of mercy for me for the rest of my life.

Despite his height (he fits a doorframe, with lean natural muscularity), and beautifully delicate features, he has this subtle aloofness that make him both intriguing and also entices you to want to know more about this charismatic man. When he listens to you, he never takes his eyes off yours, when you share some sad news his response is suddenly immediate, quite simply his sense of empathy is acute. He usually says softly, 'Oh no!' ... that is all — the sense you get is one of completely harnessing his inner recognition of pain, acknowledging yours or the person described and then responding with the sweetest sound of human agony, that of compassion.

I have another lovely Scorpio Friend, Wayne, he too is tall, dark and mysterious, his good looks sparkle him, when he smiles his broad, open grin! When you realise he is young but seems to have comprehension beyond his years, it takes you aback. He is so like Gi, that if I have ever needed a quick chat, he has made himself immediately available, quickly responds with intelligence, and is genuine, feeling the very words I put to him, as he owns them!

Compassion is always agonising, you can only feel compassion towards the news of pain, the act of pain, or the result of it ... so when you feel compassion it has to involve the human condition. Like me, he never needs to focus on words like 'trying to be honourable', like me Gi, and Wayne share this quality where they are naturally honourable.

I say this because I often come across individuals who just are not the real macoy... They meet me, make some obvious observations, and then use my language in an effort to align with me, instead of them being honest with me, they wait a month after some event that affects me occurs - then suddenly, their guilt emerges and it is, 'I was trying to be honest, I was trying to be honorable, I was trying to do the honourable thing, I believe in integrity...'

Yeah RIGHT! Actions that are any of these, statement - do not need to be stated, they are obvious and the fact that the person 'felt,' they needed to 'be this way', with me states more I think about who I am then who they are trying to be!

It is superficial and means to an end to them, they are trying to avoid some other perceived angst, whether it is confrontation, or difficulty, or bad reputation, or concern that I may lose respect for them, so now it is this effort to 'present basic facts', in such a way as to ensure my continued support. It is so lame, that I try to remain detached from their machinations, and of course because I am not drawn in, I am now the subject of their unfounded accusations.... because their need for approval is paramount, their need for attention is ALL, and they cannot subsist without being seen as 'the good person'. This need to please is more important than the need to be real, authentic and show stability in their character.

Neither has to try to be honest, like me each just is honest.... The point being that if you listen to either of them, the man doesn't have to say weakly - 'I am trying to be such and such ... the good guy, the nice person', like me neither is ‘trying, they JUST are! Thus, he just 'IS'... NOT 'BEING'. ... which requires some kind of mental struggle between whether you are or not... He, this individual man on his own terms - JUST IS!

This is what made our friendship instant, immediate and effortless, we were - just what we were! I never doubt who I am or what I am. If you know me, then it is the same, when people meet me after a long time, there is a warm embrace, no matter how many times we may have been demanding of each other, that first moment is as if a life-long association was renewed.

Whenever I see either of these men, it is the same, I have this really pleased look, I know within my heart, that no-one can deter them from their hard and fast, deeply imprinted impression of me, and that it is from a position of clarity, not obscurity. The Scorpio's I love and trust, do not have a blind faith in humanity the way that my Piscean friends do (who are kinder, emotional, and therefore invest into their emotions). The ones that I have an affinity with, see Humanity as I do, a troubled, but hopeful existence with dark and light influences from outside and within.

Life to me is like a busy port, comings and goings, different directions being mapped, each of us with some destination, not always being able to return.



Montague Dawson painted... another breathtaking Clipper, my favourite ships: this is a painting of the Thermopylae leaving Foochow.


When Gi, is visiting this country, he calls me — it doesn't matter what time he is free, we will meet up, it can be 10 in the evening, I am happy to go out in pyjamas and a dressing gown and feather mules. ... or Wellingtons ... and we talk, or rather I talk fast furiously, he laughs allot, and he listens intently, when he responds it is always sharper then cut glass ... when he makes a summary, I have only heard my father make similar observations with the same perspicuity ... well they are both Scorpios.

When Wayne was in New York, and I texted him to buy me a specific baseball cap, I did not care from where, as long as it had NY on it, and was pink! He supplied it without question, with the text 'Consider it done!'

I must say that the one of the loyalist signs to me forever and ever have been Scorpios... I personally have a deep affinity with Scorpios.

I have a friend called Mo, now I treat her like a sibling, because I met her when she was 18 and just developing her personality, and she is often in a situation where she is suffocated by other's either sabotaging her goals or perhaps misunderstanding her... Well for the longest time, if I ever shared a personal trust with her, when she responded with her observation it was delivered with the same level of innate comprehension that you would consider responsive in a much older woman, she has this wisdom when it comes to caring for those who she loves and quite frankly would sacrifice herself for. She retains somehow despite her personal experiences, a sweetness, kind, and deep with a frank candid truthful approach that makes you smile because she is funny, without spite but with a canny delivery!

Well, Gi is 'Friendly Persuasion' ... He is the person that can stand on his beliefs, empower others to do the same, and understand without any judgmental bias when one fails to do so. When he showed me photo of his family, I was completely taken away by the fact that his stunning wife was the 'Bollywood-goddess' my mother had clearly described, eyes that were deep, intelligent and sensitive. Elegant and a perfect match for him!

When I am particularly wicked, and playing the 'femme fatale' in some episode of my own delicious making, he is someone I can share my version of events with knowing that he will provoke me to analysing beyond the usual.

He will drop a suggestion into play that is delivered with the accuracy of the ace of spades ... onto the table when you are looking for it in your own hand!

From a female perspective he is the most easy man to fall in love with, when I joined the company where I met him, my fellow colleague a striking Librian girl called Cheryl, intelligent, a very capable blonde, told me that there was one man she had met that she was entirely sure that I should meet.

When I asked her why, she told me the following, 'He is your silent, strong type, and he is handsome with an intelligence that is deep, and thoughtful, you cannot take your eyes off him, and when I first spoke to you, you 'sounded' like him! he seemed to make the same observations, as you do, I thought immediately, you two are fated to be Friends!'

She was right, of course he is too humble to see himself in that way, but then I am pretty certain that he is Gary Cooper reborn!

No matter how wicked I am, Scorpios are the best allies to have around!

I have discovered that they comprehend the light and dark in each of us, without judging it!

Both Wayne and Gi, are also the most kindly individuals to be around.
I wish I could make a D.W.Griffiths (the LEO Hollywood, Consummate Director, in the 1920's)- SPLIT SEQUENCING of them, showing them on calls with me, or in person with me... it is remarkable, they are entirely unique yet there is such a strong similarity in how they are with ME!

Take Gi, I have never once heard him utter a negative slighted word about another. Sometimes, when I said something particularly acidic, always for effect of course, he would tap me on the knee, or shoulder and with a look of surprise because his thoughts are consistently directed at his highly ethical persistence at being true to his purpose, and he is very purposeful so he is very true to his ideals. ... He is a family man who is totally dedicated to his beautiful, gentle wife, and their children.

He is so serious, and adult, that when I share some personal anecdote, it is wonderful to hear him laugh so suddenly, so many times his laughter would make startle me, and then I would start to laugh as well, because I realised the full impact of my statement to him.

Now if you did not know that he and Wayne were not related you would think that young Wayne was his younger brother because he does the same motions! Wayne laughs so much, when I tell him my latest 'anecdote,' he has to take his glasses off and wipe his eyes! From the same film, there is a young son, well that could easily be Wayne, he has the same kind of innocence, yet he is also personable and has an ethical standpoint whereby he knows his mind and works towards a purpose. When he makes a mistake he recognises it and immediately attempts to redress it. I saw him sweat once, when I did an energising presentation for the Marriot Hotels primary blue-chip guests!

Prior to the event I had found out the names of the companies directors, by connecting with some of the girls who had decied to take my indoor cycling classes that I do for the Hotel. I asked them for some inside information, stuff that would be harmless but enough to make the key individuals jump! I chose the most popular workers, and then called them out and up to my stage, asking them once they were in the spotlight to explain such and such rumour. A trickle of laughter both nervous and startled - began to vibrate through the hall, then cheers as the company cute-jock, or the wittiest, most vibrant female manage, or the miserliest Finance Dir. known for penny pinching was targeted.

Once upon the stage, I promptly had them take off their shoes, line up and carry out some ambigious, almost ballerina type stretches... Wayne had specifically asked me to treat the Directors with respect, (somehow, conveniently, I forgot this entirely for the duration of their entrapment on stage) the 300 plus delegates cheered at the end, actually some of them climbed onto their chairs...

After being forced by me to do waist twists, toe touching, jumping up and down, and other unforgiving postures in the guise of stretching out their tensions and releasing them... The object of this final day session was to allow them to have cathartic output, an opportunity to de-stress following a week of heavy-going presentations.

As Wayne watched through the double doors, his eyes widened, suddenly he was surrounded by other members of the Hotel, just peering in at what looked like a party!

... About 5 minutes before my alloted time was up, I was laughing so much at how foolish everyone looked, including ME! and how we all on the stage had stopped setting an example as everyone was doing the okey cokey, with their backs to us, whilst I sat down on the side of the stage and just laughed my head off.

The Directors, suddenly realised that I had abandoned the stage, and when my laughter was heard across the mike, everyone in the audience started to stop and look over their shoulder, when they saw me sitting there laughing they also stopped wiggling, and en masse there was a room full of people laughing, and Directors sitting on their wealthy well-suited bottoms on the stage floor putting their shoes back on, hugging me and saying it was brill, one of the Directors handed me his business card....

Well Wayne perspired a single sweat bead - for the first time since I had met him over nearly 4 years ago.... He was all shiny, otherwise he is pretty cool! I smiled, 'Am I about to get fired?' He grinned nervously, 'No, I was responsible for you, therefore I am accountable!'

He meant this!

Gi, sees me as Scarlet O'Hara, constantly challenging the narrow (ignorant)'black and white' mindset of dinosaur authorities, with the same self determined need to achieve my goals, or desires, I see him as Gary Coop' ... Calmly letting me fall flat on my face, without judging me - but then stooping to hand me his arm to raise myself, elegantly, the Sentinel!

I always see situations with the depth, hue, and vast endless...colour of a prismatic rainbow. I never see or accept things on a 'black and white' basis, this to me is the limited, possibly narrow, even bigoted mind. I am repulsed - in fact I shudder when I am confronted with a mind that is incapable of anything more than monochromes, and living in a dialogue of negative perceptions.

He tells me, because he has complete faith in my ability to rise from whatever conflagration Life puts before us, or those we each create for myself and like any survivor: a phoenix, to soar.

When we are together it is rather like Marlene Deitrich ... in 'Destry Rides Again'....

I feel that he is the 'big' brother I never had.... I think that he is cut from the same cloth as my father so it is so easy and effortless to adore him, admire him and want to actually be him!

As for Wayne, although he is younger, he automatically treats me like I am one of his younger sisters too!

Whenever I mention to my Mother that either has called me, she sighs, and says, yes, I can see 'him' now... (She is able to describe ‘him’ exactly, a miracle if you have never experienced it).

Recently, I told both of them independently that that I was put on this earth for one reason, to be 'his' everlasting conscience-provoker, that no matter how many lives 'he' had to reincarnate into ... sooner or later 'he' found me, or vice verse ... that 'he' could never escape, and that I was always going to be there to help 'him' strategise 'himself' into a worse situation than 'he' started because quite frankly the truth is I consider 'him' possessively as my trusted knight, but I also feel compelled to test this theory, so I put 'him' in danger specifically to test 'his' mettle!

They reacted so similarly that it was really fascinating, they both did the same thing, they hesitated, they processed what they had just heard, did they say, 'Don't be silly, I am my own man, I belong to me, to my mother, to my wife, to my king and country.'... No… They both in different time zones, burst out laughing...

Neither stopped laughing for about 5 minutes! I should add also did not question this, (they have such Wisdom) but they did laugh nervously!


As platonic friends, our Friendship certainly has the same energy of sparkle, like Torville and Dean ... ice-skating the Bolero. ... With our thoughts electrifying: fire and ice....

When they hug you it is a bone-crushing but gentle hug that takes your breath away. Because they really did miss you! It is joyous, delivering complete safety and embracing all their ethics of spiritual comprehension because, despite silence, and the peace they seem to bring to chaos, when they are speaking softly to you ... saying ... 'hello YOU!'.... 'I really missed you!'... 'It is so GOOD to see you'...

AND you actually feel like you are being hugged by a big brother, and with the same sense of complete trust, and unquestionable loyalty, you know they are there shoulder to shoulder with you.

I think that because in different ways they both remind of my father's simple kind consideration to others, it is easy to be with them, quite simply by friendly persuasion.


Well, I started and now I have finished this piece...